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The sperm donor

The last week or so I have been very lackadaisical (that’s such an odd word when you come to write it, isn’t it) about my appearance and personal hygeine: it helps me get into full builder-mode if I don’t wash and shave. It’s a bit like being an actor when you have an activity […]

Four for a boy

Today I am a plumber. I have to connect water pipes to the new kitchen and finish the waste connection for the sink. That should enable me to finish stripping the baby’s room ready for a new floor and replastering at the weekend. I’ll only be the plasterer’s mate though, as plastering is very […]

Many hands

I am sitting down here in my office listening to the sound of Dyson upstairs. I realise that leaving an eight-month pregnant woman to do the cleaning may seem a little unfair, however I simply cannot risk further serious injury with so much ‘man’s work’ still to be done. Yes, the finger is much […]

Fingered

I am injured. Not seriously, but my pride is dented and my finger is a bit squished.

I have been working on the house for the last couple of weeks using a variety of deadly tools such as hand saws, chisels and powered rip saws, some of which could remove limbs faster than Louise […]

Changing rooms

I’ve decided to make another room in our mansion habitable as it just occurred to me that we need somewhere to put the new baby. That will leave just 3 derelict rooms to renovate.

The process starts with the renovation of a vacant boxroom upstairs, earmarked for future use as the bathroom, which will […]

Cooking with gas

We just had a gas meter fitted. Nothing astounding about that I suppose, but for us it’s a big step after 8 years. You need a gas meter to run a gas boiler, and you need a gas boiler for CENTRAL HEATING! I just can’t stress how many Brownie points this is going to […]