About Me

I was born in Luton, known for hat making, Vauxhall cars, London Luton Airport and a great football team who once beat Arsenal at Wembley in a Cup Final, currently languishing in non-league football for the 4th season. I moved to Edinburgh in 1990 and now live in Leith, Edinburgh's 'waterfront'.

Married for 24 years to Louise (who is on day release from Fife), I have 4 children: Holly (aged 28) who's studying medicine at Dundee University, William (aged 26) at the Army Foundation College, Harrogate, Alice (aged 23) and Maddie (aged 16).

We live in a 226 year old Georgian house which we are slowly renovating. We once had a note from an artist posted through the letterbox asking if our semi-derelict house was available to rent as studio space. Things have improved lately; the stonework has been repaired and we have shiny new railings. Just the inside to do now then.

Current CNPS score: 999


Header Image: Richard Bloomfield

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    Like a Virgin

    Richard bloody Branson. The people’s businessman? I don’t think so.

    I am bloody livid. Why can’t Branston pickle just stop tampering and trying to take over the world. Thank god he didn’t get the lottery.

    Fact: Virgin Active take over one of the health clubs which Louise works at. Result: Paycut; £25 per hour becomes £22 per hour. Membership prices cut? Of course not. Mr Branson enjoys improved margins at our expense.

    Fact: Virgin Media take over Telewest. Result: I can’t watch two programmes which I really enjoy, which were an essential part of my viewing package. Oh, but surely I’ll be paying less for this reduced service? Of course not. Mr Branson enjoys improved margins at our expense.

    I went on a Virgin train the other day on a business trip. They smell. They really do. Like a toilet.

    We flew with Virgin to Cyprus a few years ago. The Air Hostess was so rude Louise swore at her, called her a silly bitch or something after she spilt hot coffee on her and didn’t apologise. The Chief Steward came over and started shouting at us. I told him to shut up and stop defending his staff without even knowing the facts. He went and got the Captain! They left the thing on auto-pilot to come and tell us off for expecting some level of customer service from his useless colleagues. Without doubt the worst example of bad customer service I’ve ever experienced. Pay peanuts, get monkeys. Mr Branson enjoys improved margins at our expense.

    The worst thing about this is the way he constantly squeals and whines at the way his little companies are squeezed and bullied by the big boys. Sky are evil for overvaluing their channels. Camelot are evil. British Airways are evil. Hmm.

    This man is moving in to space travel. It’s like a Dr Who storyline. God help us.